30 June 2010

the agreement

The agreement reads:

I, Elaine G******, will pay for Kate G******'s 2010 family vacation air fare if Kate agrees to the following conditions:

1. Kate will QUIT smoking FOREVER effective Thursday, July 1, 2010 12:01 AM.
2. Kate will surrender ALL her lighters to Elaine no later than Friday, July 2, 2010.
3. Elaine will reserve the right to contact Kate’s friends to ensure that Kate QUIT smoking for realz.

The following situation will be subject to the 3-strikes-yer-out rule.

Elaine gets a whiff of smoke stench from Kate and her answer is any variety of the following: “I was standing next to a person who was smoking.” Elaine was not born yesterday.

It should be mentioned here that Elaine has an excellent sense of smell and any attempt to cover the smell of smoke from Kate’s person, be it with perfume or Febreeze, WILL be noticed.

If Kate fails to comply with the aforementioned conditions, this contract will be NULL and VOID. Kate will then either pay for her own flight or reimburse Elaine within 6 months from the date Kate chose to violate the contract.

Good behavior will be rewarded. Every year on July 1, we will celebrate the anniversary of Kate’s commitment to a good and long healthy lifestyle.

If you see this person smoking, kindly report it to me:



Jen said...

Love you, Lainey! Great post. You're a great sis & you mean business.

elaine said...

hahaha! i always mean business. if it ain't done right, it ain't worth doing at all. i'm a bit loopy so i hope that makes sense! :)